I don't know about this wedding. This is a big step, a very big step. He is a good man, I love him very much, i really do. Don't get me wrong but I am having mixed thoughts about our wedding. I try not to think about it too much, I want to spend my last days as an unmarried woman without any cares. The wedding has been set for thursday next, that is very soon. I am nervous about this. Did I mention that i have doubts?
Also, I sometimes catch myself thinking of Leonardo, staring out the window, dreaming of the past and my old life. The way he could tame and ride the wild horses, controlling them with his legs and hands. He had the more tense and set face of anyone i knew. He was always serious. Oh, I feel so guilty for what happened between us, not a day goes by where I do not think of our last day together. But he is in my past and he is not to be remembered any longer. I now have a loving bridegroom, my soon to be husband. Next thursday, oh this is so soon. And on my birthday too, my 22nd birthday. How will this work out, what does my future hold, for I can scarcely predict. Next thursday our two families will be bound and I will become a wife.
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